“Self control is not a problem in the future, it’s only a problem now, when the chocolate is next to us”. – Shlomo Benartzi TEDtalk: Saving for tomorrow, tomorrow
When we go to church, I tell myself and fully plan to not have a treat afterwards, but when the service is over it’s like some weird programming takes over, and without thinking I get my coffee and some sample of whatever treat is offered. Before I remember that I didn’t want to have a cookie, it’s half eaten.
As I mentioned in my last post, tv is a bad one for me too.
I do better with saving, which is the basis of the TEDtalk above. This year for the first time, I programmed into my 401(k) (last summer) to increase my contribution by 1% on Jan 1. It worked in that when January came around and I looked at my pay statement, I couldn’t figure out why it was different. A little research pointed me to the programmed increase. When I got to the website and figured it out, I was fine with the decision, and didn’t feel like figuring out how to reverse it.
I’ve benefitted greatly from areas where I can set up, program or schedule things in advance. The 401(k) increase is one area. Scheduling bill payments in advance ensures that my bills are paid on time and I don’t incur interest or late penalties. My favorite is scheduling my donations. My bank sends the check out every month. I always hated getting to church for example, and not having a checkbook. We don’t even order checks anymore because I can set up anyone as a recipient in my bill pay. I have the self-control to sit at my computer regularly and manage these payments, and have the self-control to not spend that money that’s earmarked.
When I work from home, scheduling tasks in my calendar, even more than a to do list, helps keep me on task. Today for example, I had scheduled my morning in my calendar but not my afternoon. Wouldn’t you know it, my afternoon got away from me, jumping from email to a report and back with no sense of focus.
Recognizing where I have less self-control is a good first step. With regard to food and exercise, I had a specific goal recently. I wanted to get below 170 lbs. When I passed the goal, I set a new target and kept working. 2018 is over, and I haven’t really set any goals for 2019. I feel more adrift. Without the goal, it’s harder for me to resist the temptation to have desserts, or to skip exercising. I’ve been able to maintain my weight, but it fluctuates more than I’d like.
Self-control is a bizarre thing. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s hard. In some areas, there’s no problem, and in others, it can feel impossible. Each person has his or her own successes and challenges.
For me, the process is important. I can learn each day from myself. What state of mind was I in when I succeeded, or failed? When was it that I operated on autopilot, and how can I interrupt that next time. As I pay attention, even after the fact, I can learn and grow, and do better next time.
Life is a long game. One day, one situation at a time.
Tomorrow I’ll schedule the whole day in my calendar.
Cover photo courtesy of pixabay.com
I’ve found that scheduling what I can ultimately reverse – like writing, exercise, savings, or giving – requires some negotiation between too much demand, which results in me giving up and not doing anything, and not enough structure, which results in me doing very little.
I also need to strike a balance between automating my behavior, especially my financial behavior, and remaining aware of what I’m doing. I’ve settled on automating payments with higher negative consequences and leaving others to my own volition. I want to check back on my savings and obligations with some regularity, just as long as promising to check on things doesn’t turn into avoidance, as can happen.
Knowing your weakness and strengths and setting goals are good rules to work for that balance of self-control and automation.
Thanks for the comment Jacob. I struggle sometimes with how much I automate. For example, I have automated my charitable giving. I did it because I don’t have checks and rarely carry cash, and found that my giving lagged what I wanted it to be. My concern is that too much autopilot will take away from any intrinsic benefit or motivation for me. At this point, I use Mint to track my spending, so I still pay attention to when it goes through and how much it is.