The other day my family was running errands. It was raining and I had dropped them off at the door so that they wouldn’t get wet. After we checked out, we went for the car. Separately, both my son and wife asked “where is the car?”. I was in the lead and the others were in a train spread out behind me. I kept walking as it was still raining, but was dumbstruck at the question. I had no idea how to answer, so just pointed and said “this way”.

The next day, around the dinner table, I asked them what kind of answer they were looking for. I said that at the time, I truly had no idea what kind of answer to give. I knew exactly where the car was, but it wasn’t an exceedingly large parking lot, so there were no labeled sections. Because of larger vehicles, it couldn’t be seen from where we were. Walmart parking lots generally don’t have numbered spaces, and I wouldn’t have paid attention to my number even if they had them.

My wife answered that she was looking for something like “this row” or “two rows over” or even “halfway down on the left side”. What was important to her, she said, was to have some idea where it was so she knew whether she was getting close, or if it was still far away. That would have helped her know if she should tuck her leather wallet in her coat, or prepare to dart the last little bit there.

I said that my way of thinking was that if I didn’t know where the car was, and the one who knows is in the lead, then I’ll just follow that person (as was happening), and it doesn’t really matter if I know where the car is. I’ll find out very soon and I don’t really need that level of detail.

Our conversation continued about the differences between how people think. I tend to be a linear thinker, and this situation demonstrates that my wife is more of a global thinker. After 18 years of marriage, and 12 years with my son, it’s fascinating to realize how much there is still to learn and know about each other.

I’ll admit that at the time, I was a little annoyed at the question. I felt that to properly answer it I’d have to pause and let them catch up with me, then explain in clear terms exactly where the car was. By the time I would have done that we would have been at the vehicle. So, I asked them, in order to prevent such a situation, how could we do it in the future. They said that it would help them know where the car is before we left the store. That way they’d know how much to bundle and how long it would take to get there.

Who would have thought that asking a question and talking it through would net such a wealth of information!

Have you been in a similar situation where you encountered someone who thinks in a different way than you?